First of all don’t laugh at my picture, cos it was zoomed to get my face clearly, just incase you see me on the street and not recognise me *Blinks Eyes*….Now lets get down to the issue on ground.
There is a quick rise in divorces resulting from domestic violence among Nigerian couples. I just sat here on my hot news desk and wondered what the actual cause for the sudden rise could be, especially in my dearest country. Divorce incidents were very rare growing up as a child in Nigeria, and moving to the UK was an eye opener to such life style, as it’s almost the order of the day as there are quite a number of divorce cases. According to statistics divorce in the UK in 2011 was 117,558 (SOURCE) which to me is outrageous and I don’t think it’s that bad in Nigeria though. My question is what has changed? Have Nigerian men all of a sudden become monsters? Is there a new wave of depression that is leading to them being more violent, or has the African/Nigeria woman evolved to become out spoken, less dependent, less submissive? Does this make men feel threatened in their homes, or has moral decadence just given way, what exactly has changed? Why more news of wife beaters and worse still increased cases of DIVORCE!!!!
In days of old I know there are men who have always treated their wives as children, feeling there was a need to beat them once in a while to keep them in check especially because in those days, men married women who were a lot younger than them. These were however not frequent and somehow they tend to weather their storms and their marriages last. But what is the excuse of the modern day man who marries a woman around his own age group?
Perhaps it is a feeling of trying to exert authority in the home over and above the woman, but note the Nigerian woman has grown over the years, they have learnt to be more out spoken they have come to understand that a marriage is a unionism of man and woman as ONE, and both are seen equal in the eyes of God.
Women now want to contribute to the finances of the family (that have become necessary in some homes, considering the economic climate), so they have to go out and hustle just like men do and sometimes even more and yet come back home to all the pressures of family life, when they complain the man gets angry and sometimes beating follows.
Over the years we have also experienced more women empowerment, through various channels such as Government schemes, Activists and generally more opportunities, these in a way make men feel like they are losing their grip to power and dominance in this so called Man’s world. Inferiority complex and sometimes acute paranoia quickly sets in making the man desperate to regain his authority unfortunately some of these men resort to violence.
So how can we manage this issue?
In my opinion only a coward man beats a woman, (although if a woman offers you a slap first you should be a gentle man and respond with equal or slightly more reaction) *winks* women don’t hit your man and expect him to walk away, that defiles even the equality you are fighting for.
Secondly, women oh my God! sometimes our mouths run 900words per minute, holy Lord we just keep going, that in itself can go straight into a man’s brain and cause some neuron/ nerves (whatever those medics call it) to switch places and he reacts radically. So curb your tongue, go easy and don’t always feel you have to prove your equality. Remember too many cooks spoil the broth or better still a ship can only have one captain, take a step back let him be man and guide and support him gently. With the right attitude every man becomes like a child in your arms seeking your approval and praise.
Nigerian Actresses hmmn your own story is too long… perhaps people get inspired from you lot to leave their relationships, but why wont the man brush you, when every day you receive phone calls from men while on bed, flirt openly with people, deprive your husband’s their God given rights, talk down on them. Don’t misunderstand me, not all actresses are involved. Just that these days a lot of them have been jumping out of marriages and blaming it on domestic violence, which could be true, but how do we verify this, when it’s their words against their husbands. On the other hand, men if you marry an actress, you should be ready to endure all the attention she gets from other men because she has to be nice and friendly to them in order to keep her fan base. Seeing her kissing another man in a movie is naturally gonna trigger jealousy even though you lot claim you ain’t bothered, but you are and that’s why you overreact about minor issues that often leads to domestic violence if it were the case. That’s why I am a strong supporter of celebrities marrying themselves and deal with their wahalas (issues).
Lastly note that it has come to our attention too that some of you ladies out there have developed the habit of beating your husband’s tooo * Winks* this applies to you too… no more brushing in marriages you hear?
I do not encourage domestic violence and I believe a lot of men/women only use it as a front these days to get out of their marriages either because they miss their single life styles or because some other man/woman is given them un due attention out there. Having said that if your partner is actually and really a violent person… then YEAH RIGHT PLEASE JOG ON!!!! QFMJHZ952DDK
Watch this video and see a modern man hitting and rough handling his wife:
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Yours Everrrr egosentrik herself