HELP: I Am A Married Father Of Two Kids and Addicted To Watching Pornography

porno

Dear Egosentrik,

I am married for over 3 years now  with 2 beautiful kids.  I would say I am blessed with a very wonderful family and I love them dearly, but recently I have not been able to stop myself from watching pornography, the urge appears to be growing with every passing day.

Don’t get me wrong I love my wife and our sex life is great,  we have sex on the average of 4- 5 times a week, but I still find myself staying up late just to watch porno almost on a daily basis worst of all sometimes straight after sex.

I was not too spiritual growing up but I still hated pornography so much, I use to think it was very low for a man to spend his time watching pornography and worse still masturbating. Although I do not quite masturbate but I still feel embarrassed watching such movies. In fact just writing it now makes me feel embarrassed, God oh I will create a fake email address and delete the account straight after sending this message.

I think it is a weird behaviour to just sit down and watch other people have sex, and I almost feel like I am encouraging the porno industry. I sometimes feel like I am cheating on my wife, God oh she dares not see this.

Maybe the  only benefit I could say have come out from this, is newly acquired sex skills/ positions. Which I think improves my sex offerings (like I stated earlier we have a great sex life).

I have discussed this with a female colleague of mine and she seems to feel it is a better alternative to sleeping about.

I am sometimes tempted to think that marriage may have led to this new habit, I  am not quite sure how, maybe it’s because this started after marriage. You see before marriage I use to strongly believe that variety is the spice of life and I have had my fair share of chics but now that I am married that seems to have changed, could that be why?????

I am so confused, do I need professional help or am I just worrying unnecessarily  over nothing major. 

If you are reading this, please let me know what you think, I will deeply appreciate it. Thank you.

 

 

10 comments on “HELP: I Am A Married Father Of Two Kids and Addicted To Watching Pornography

  1. Pop says:

    Viewing pornography has serious negative consequences and it is apparent from your email that you want to stop but are unable to. You can end up losing your family due to a porn addiction (please see a more complete list of consequences at http://www.poweroverpornography.com/consequences).

    Most porn users can’t stop viewing on their own but require some help. Some receive help from well-known 12-step programs, some from therapists and some from priests or other religious leaders. Those who may be too embarrassed to seek outside help from a program can benefit from the books and other programs available. You may want to try a cognitive behavior-based program, such as Power Over Pornography. They tend to work well, teach solid principles and some believe they have a lower relapse rate than 12-step programs.

    Once you’re no longer viewing pornography, your relationship with your wife will deepen and your life will improve in many ways. Good luck to you

  2. Anonymous says:

    Dear father,
    I am quite shocked by your previous statements and I must say, this is a very difficult problem that might endanger your marriage and possibly your life. I understand what you mean by you need help, indeed, this is very complicated. You do not want to endanger your life with your wife with the fact that you are addicted to porn, but you cannot stop yourself from watching it even though you know its wrong and you are afraid that this may ruin your marriage…. You said that before marriage, sex was not really important to you, but after marriage you became addicted to it in a way that it drove to watch pornography. It is normal for you to have these emotional feelings before your marriage and now that you have succeeded into fulfilling your inner desires, they affect you so much that you just started feeding them with pornography though your wife satisfy you in many ways. However, she is not a sex machine. At a point, she is going to grow suspicious in the fact that you are sex driven and when she will say no, you will turn to other women and complete what you are missing.

    I am not typing this to judge you, but to help you. You said that you have consensual sex with your wife 4-5 times a week right? Then you’ll have to go on a special “sex diet”. The point of all this is to stop having sex with your wife and stop watching porn for about a whole month.You surely think that it might add fuel to the fire right, but during your “diet” do something productive like a hobby or sport, relax sometimes, void talking about sex with your friends or your wife (avoid any of these discussions), destroy all access that will lead you to read or watch porn. Delete all pictures, videos, websites, mails, magazines, journal, anything related to porn or sex. While you are with your wife, try to do something else like reading at night or even computer games or discuss other things with your wife apart from sex, avoid the company of women, instead hang out with your buddies, try to stay away from the opposite sex as much as possible or you might end up losing the real one you love, try spending times with your wonderful children and most of all, pray sincerely, dearly about it. Stay away from sex as much as possible and trust me it will work.

    If it doesn’t, then i urge you to come clean to your wife and tell her the whole truth about your feeling for she is your wife, your lover, your confident. You need to discuss about it then go see a therapist or someone else who can help. You must not be ashamed of telling her the truth, she must be aware of your condition, then you will be both be strong enough to fight against this problem. if you don’t do so, you might destroy your marriage and lose you wife your kids and worst your life just because of sex, and its not fair!

    Good luck father, i hope that you feel better soon!

  3. Anonymous says:

    these days you no fit run from pono oh, e dey everywhere. even me when i on my computer sometimes the kind thing we dey dey show me ma serious wahala. enjoy you self, but no wank yourself to death oh 🙂

  4. Anonymous says:

    Please stop it, porno is not good. Whatever we do in secret we know it is bad, that is why we do it in secret. if it was a good thing you would not be hiding to do it.

  5. Steve says:

    Why are people so myopic in their reasoning. A lot of peoples sex lives have been greatly improved from watching pornography. All these holier than thou people, no wonder your husbands/ wives are still looking outside, they are tired of your missionary style jare.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Pornography is from hell fire oh… my broda look for church quick quick go do deliverance

  7. Anonymous says:

    I think is not a big deal, how are you sure she is not doing the same thing as well (watching the same at your back). I believe being open in marriages is key to finding true happiness, talk to your wife about it she might even join you, you never know.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Dear father,

    You can kindly wank yourself to death with the same porn. I believe this will put an end to your problem.

    Sincerely Yours,

    Dr Kas

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