I am married for over 3 years now with 2 beautiful kids. I would say I am blessed with a very wonderful family and I love them dearly, but recently I have not been able to stop myself from watching pornography, the urge appears to be growing with every passing day.
Don’t get me wrong I love my wife and our sex life is great, we have sex on the average of 4- 5 times a week, but I still find myself staying up late just to watch porno almost on a daily basis worst of all sometimes straight after sex.
I was not too spiritual growing up but I still hated pornography so much, I use to think it was very low for a man to spend his time watching pornography and worse still masturbating. Although I do not quite masturbate but I still feel embarrassed watching such movies. In fact just writing it now makes me feel embarrassed, God oh I will create a fake email address and delete the account straight after sending this message.
I think it is a weird behaviour to just sit down and watch other people have sex, and I almost feel like I am encouraging the porno industry. I sometimes feel like I am cheating on my wife, God oh she dares not see this.
Maybe the only benefit I could say have come out from this, is newly acquired sex skills/ positions. Which I think improves my sex offerings (like I stated earlier we have a great sex life).
I have discussed this with a female colleague of mine and she seems to feel it is a better alternative to sleeping about.
I am sometimes tempted to think that marriage may have led to this new habit, I am not quite sure how, maybe it’s because this started after marriage. You see before marriage I use to strongly believe that variety is the spice of life and I have had my fair share of chics but now that I am married that seems to have changed, could that be why?????
I am so confused, do I need professional help or am I just worrying unnecessarily over nothing major.
If you are reading this, please let me know what you think, I will deeply appreciate it. Thank you.